Thursday, August 18, 2005
stress up@o@!!!!
haiyo..reali stress lo...
but can sae ish i lazy la...hahaha..."L"=lovable!!!! no la..."L"=lazy lo...
actually i still not in a study mood yet...common test coming liao mi yet still slag slag..
hmmm...let mi list out e things 2 do..
~eng~-newspaper report-witness report-journals-oral thingy>muz wrote out ur speech-common test(p2)#monday,22/08 0740-0840~chinese~-learn spelling-prepare for chinese compo test and e test paper~Emaths~-usual homework prac-common test#monday,29/08 0740-840>chap8,9,10~Amaths~-normal parc of qn-common test#monday,29/08 1400-1515>chap5,6,7~physics~-make notes-common test# wednesday,24/08 0740-0840>chap7,8,9~chemistry~-common test#tuesday,30/08 1320-1420nehx..things which need mi 2 do de lo...hahax..alot rite?LOL...but i lazy la...everyday go skool @ ard 705 thn reach skool @ 720 jus nice!!!but i late fer 2 times liao...cannot late again le..or else need c principal..thn today i ask my skool's president if e teacher's day event can disqualify my clz anot..cuz everyone don wanna participate wad..plus tat day i got band performance thn i dunu whether got other things 2 do anot...my piano exam is @ 9 sept 4pm,plaza sing norhx..thn got tis piano competition,i'm gng..jus take it as a experience onli...not wanting 2 win..and i noe sure cant win de la...hahaha confirm got others beta than mi de lo..thn i'm still finding excuses 2 go band...i wanna tell them after "o"s nxt yr bah...cuz i tink it will b beta...anyway if i'm in,nxt yr tis time i'm still taking leave wad..so after "o"s mayb i'll tell them e truth but muz make sure my results don b so lousy la...hahaha!!!LOL!feeling veri tired in skool..teacher wanna tok finish liao,wana go fer nxt lesson le i still can lie on e table and slp! OMG! hahaha...i think cuz of stress,i can predict there's another pimple coming on e way!LOL!!
9:50 AM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
i didnt mean it
hey guys...mi feeling down nehx..any1 wanna concern abt mi..guess not bah..
anyway jus wanna type my feelings out..cuz i reali cannot keep it anymore in my heart..
cant stand it..if i don sae i scared i'll be lyk a balloon n brust!!!!
few days ago i had i quarrel wid my big sis..she was in a bad mood whn she came bac..
thn i was playing maple..suppostly i'm stopping my maple game by e day b4 thn she sae cannot,muz stop now.."but thn i didnt play ytd wad,ytd i go tampiness 4 national day celebration norhx.."
"i don care stop it now b4 i tell mummy..haix,mummy sick,papa not feeling well,e youngest 1(mi) oso not obedient.." (went 2 bed pretand slp)
"all u noe is 2 slp and play ur stupid maple,comes 2 tuition oso nvr c u lyk play game so excited"
(thinking)who would wanna go tuition willingly,is mummy sae muz tuition lo,if not i die oso don1 tuition arh..
wad she sae is lyk saying i'm useless indrectly and saying i onli noe slp and play dunu how 2 do other tinks..
i was thinking:mayb they don even want mi as their sister,being so useless,so stupid,dunu how 2 do anything..
or mayb my parents don1 mi oso..they even thought i was a boi b4 i was gave birth..sad rite..
they wantes a boi but in e end i'm a ger..haix..
thn my maid even worse..
shirley!y u everytime in front e computer?!(whisper)everyday computer computer,don even noe how 2 study..
(thinking) u tink u so smart ar..
fine la..i dunu how 2 study,i'm stupid,i'm useless thn y u wanna wake mi up every morning 2 ask mi go skool?u can jus let mi slp till late ,morning thn i no need go skool liao wad..
u so fierce 4 wad..(i'm angry wad of cuz fierce la,somemore ur voice even louder than mi)
u no manners ar..(repeated nxt morning)
ya la..i no manners wad..i no parents wad i'm jus an orphan! a child nobody wanted!
i onli waste papa mummy's money 2 go skool and learn piano and buy so much things la..(band door,go skool)
i was so mad @ every1...saying my useless..i'm not useless!!!althought my studies may not b gd..i'm still a gd flutist,gd pianist,gd chairman rite?! so damn angry sia..
my fren was thinking too much tat nite thn he msg 2 my another fren abt his feelings and thoughts and tat time i was toking 2 my another fren..dats y i noe wad was gng on..yet i lie 2 my fren tat i don noe..cuz i was thinking mayb he don wanna mi 2 noe..so i lied..having tat guiltiness in my heart...dat was reali a veri veri terrible feeling i reali didnt mean it..i noe he jus want e truth..but yet i nvr tell him..i was thinking y don i jus tell him e truth beta than now feeling terrible,thn lyk being avoided..nth is gd in between us...i'm feeling veri terrible..in skool,if w/o my frenz acc mi and my outside frens keep toking 2 mi,i woudld hav contracted depression..no1 noes except myself..my health is not as gd as last time liao..i keep having headache,stomachache,gastric pain,veri thing tat i last time nvr had..doctor sae its stress..
ytd i almost fainted outside skool lab whn i was gng 2 hav ipw lesson..i keep falling back as if i was in a veri shaky bus..i dunu wadz wrong...everyday i'm getting slper every morning..
doctor sae unless u're sick or else u wont feel slpy..but my cough,flu all over already..y do i still feel slpy?! why...haix..
why would things turn out 2 b lyk tat?!i hate it arh..i've cried lotza times tis few days especially...cuz i jus feel bad inside mi..my heart hurts..as if some1 use a knife 2 stab @ mi lotsa times..i feel terrible..indiscribable feeling inside mi..
anyway if u don wanna noe thn don read tis loh..i speechless liao..ppl aviod mi..i jus hate it...
1:59 PM
